The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
I don’t want to write this review because I don’t particularly enjoy heavy doses of negative criticism. Really. But I looked at movie listings today and this terrible, terrible film is still playing somehow, so I want to insist that everyone stay away from it. Terry Gilliam has made some good movies: Brazil (1985), Twelve Monkeys (1995) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998). Not only is this not one of them, it is easily one ofthe worst movies I’ve ever seen.
I’m not sure how this movie got made. It is an offense to movie-goers everywhere, and as an informed patron of the arts, I am personally offended not only by the makers of this picture, but by the critics who didn’t vehemently keep me away from it: Roger Ebert and Peter Travers of Rolling Stone both gave this 3 stars. Manohla Dargis somehow suggested that if you are into Gilliam’s concepts and dream-like imagery, this may be for you. All critics focus on Ledger’s involvement, as if it’s a saving grace. It isn’t. It is misogynist and racist, boring and meandering, confused and belabored, pointless and poisonous. There is no redeeming quality to it. If you find yourself holding out for one while you are watching it, like I did, I can tell you now: it’s going nowhere. Leave the theater!
It is sad that this is Heath Ledger’s last film. I’m not a huge Heath fan. I mean, I love Brokeback Mountain, and I really enjoyed The Dark Knight. Those were meaty and terrific roles (that any actor could probably sink his teeth into). Otherwise, his résumé isn’t that impressive, nor his personality. But it’s sad regardless, because this movie is so awful. His character first appears hanging from a bridge, apparently dead. I am willing to say that this is intriguing, and not simply distasteful or grotesque. Pondering his real world fate and this cinematic introduction was the most mental stimulation I had in the theater. That’s a bad thing. It goes without saying that Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law should also have stayed away from this picture (though their brief scenes are the most bearable in the movie).
Why is it that every visitor to the Imaginarium (aside from the mall scene) goes in kicking and screaming? Can’t anyone go in happily? What is the point of Andrew Garfield’s character, Anton? Clearly we want him out of the way as soon as possible, and yet his irritating presence persists. Christopher Plummer is a solid actor. The acting isn’t the problem. Tom Waits is an interesting guy, but his whole “Devil” plotline is annoyingly ludicrous. If two guys have such unlimited powers, I want to see MUCH MORE crazy shit going on! Lily Cole is pretty andinterestingto look at. But I’m not going to count her character as a saving point, because it goes without saying that glossy movies have pretty girls in them. They can also be found on every TV channel, in magazines, and on your computer. Her character, Valentina, is introduced as a sexy vamp, then said to be 16, then said to be 14… or was it 12? Dr. P keeps changing the age, I think because her life is promised to the devil at a certain ripeness, or something. This whole plotline makes her visage more creepy than pleasurable. She’s 21 in reality, incidentally.
I said the acting wasn’t the problem. I should mention very quickly what is: the writing. The tone and pace, dictated by the script, feels like a constant bad acid trip, with one escalating fight/squabble after another. There is no point to any of them. As soon as the plot seems to pick up, characters start freaking out and wasting energy. It’s like going on a weekend trip with a bunch of people you can barely tolerate and having to endure their worst aspects entirely, without distraction, because no games or cell phones were allowed. For a movie of such visual promise, A LOT of time is wasted on stupid dialogue, and staying in the gritty and unforgiving world of London, instead of plummeting whole-heartedly into the mysteries and beauties of the human mind.
Worst yet, this movie, being a fantastical and inventive one, has a sick way of staying in your brain for a bit after seeing it. It has some powerful imagery and fancy ideas, but believe me, your life will be better off without them.
